Tempus Fugit

Now it's even longer, almost three years after my last post.  My baby is a senior.  My work changed and then I was forced to change it again.  Still new, only a month in the third job of my second career.  Questioning things again, searching still.
Just finished reading Job.  What a reminder; I know so little of what God is and does and has for my life.  Then I read a devotional.  It's absolutely impossible to not have faith.  Countless times I have read a devotional that literally spoke to the exact circumstances and/or pain I was feeling, am feeling.
So in reality, tonight is just a night.  My children are mostly on their own.  My purpose now in their lives is to be there if they come to me and keep my mouth shut otherwise, and just watch, encourage, and do my best to release my worries.
The greatest cause of pain is the lack of accepting the now.  I see that all the time.  I have in my mind that I am that woman that I used to thank God I was not.  On the downhill side of middle aged, a little too chubby for my liking, and most horrifically, unmarried, unattached.  One of THEM.  ew. 
I'm reading Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love.  I'll let you know how I make out.
Love and blessings.